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Friday, March 19, 2010

19032010 in memory~~

today, i fill so sad n unhappy...starting from the morning..my mood was really 'down'...the day start with unhappy-starting when i cant go to driving class at moning which supposedly i go...but my teacher, p.ya called last night and tell us that the driving teacher for this week are limited at our driving school. so my name are postponed to next week. thinking to take motorcycle class at morning but im too late..my friends were left me because they are rushing in time...Justify Full
sitting on my desk and thinking what should i do in this morning..but nothing was come across my mind except thinking to join my dear to go to the beach for joging as he ask me before. however, when i text him and ask him either he gone or still here...but he replied with 'kte duk tgh joging'-meaning he was already started their jogging activity...owhhhh..very upset because i'm dying to go there more over in 'unknown' mood like today...before, so many time i asked my dear asking him go to the beach but he always refused. he was so busy lately...(maybe)...arghhhhhh..im frust. again!!

at 2.30 (after 'Jumaat') i went to my driving school.p.ya said i can sit for my car-theory today.. (yippi!!)..but before the class start..at about 3.15, my cousin call me and said that his father are gone at noon. im very surprised!! im shocked!! i am not expect that he'll leave me as this soon...i'm thinking to visit him during my next semester break on April. but Allah love him more...by any reason..from now on...i'll never see him anymore and i cant make a joke with him anymore..i do love my pak lang for the whole of my heart. he is just like my father after my abah..he was so nice to me since im a kid. he was the only uncle that really kind with me compared to the others..oh god. please make me strong to face this loss...




today, im realized that even he is not my first uncle which passed away, but he was my first uncle that im crying for when he's gone..i realized that how much he closed to me..how much i need him..n how significant he is to me..owh god, please forgive him on what ever mistake he done because he is very generous to anybody and always willing to help anybody needed..

after i received the phone call, i am really down. don't know what to do. i am just so empty...suddently i take my phone and i call my dear..sharing with him all the thing that i fill. alhamdulillah..im getting better...he relive me so much...thank you, dear...however, im not refuse or decline the faith..im just loss in my self and im trying to search my source of strengh and trying to be strong like what i should...btw, really thanx for ur concern, dear...i really appreciate it..

my driving class run smoothly..thanx to cikgu man that really patient to teach me and thanx again to my dear which always keep me up..always standing by me to give strength to me whenever i needed...

at night, whenever 'pak lang' across my mind...i was sooo sad. my tears will drop automatically..non-stop...sending him a Yassin and keep praying for him from the distance were the only thing that i can do from the here...really hope he can have a very peace 'sleeping' forever...

trying to sleep early since i have nothing to do. my heart, my mind and my mood became so uneasy throughout the day..usually, the only treatment that i can do to re-treat my mood is by sleeping with hope that i'll forget about it when i wake up at tomorrow morning....

emm last night i sleep with the full of love..sleeping in smiling mood..but today, my day was really challenging...luckily i have u, Allah and i have u, Mr. Dear...really thanx for the love =)

that's what i fill today..really hope no more challenging day after this..its really make me weak..guys, please help me to pray for my pak lang k...really hope your pray for him..al-fatehah~~
btw, thanx to u....till then, see you in next post~~ =)

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