forever live of my dad in MY HEART...

24th July 2010

8.43 am: i noticed a missed call from my sis at my phone. she try to call me at 4.52am..only after 4 hours after the call i noticed the missed call..when i noticed the call, my heart beating faster than ever..i dont know why but i fill scare to return her call..worry if she tell me any bad news from home..

1.23 pm: i sent a msg to my sis and ask her why did she call me at mid nite...then she reply my msg and tell me dat my dad was sent to hospital. she's on her way to hospital n she promise me to call me back when she knew the exact condition of my dad..

2.30 pm: i called back my sis since she never return me any call.. she was in hospital. she tell me dat 'ABAH DAH KRITIKAL. KEADAAN ABAH DAH TERUK SANGAT. KO BALIK LA CEPAT'..

Then, i called my fwen, ASRUL ANWAR and ask him to buy me a ticket to KLANG. a few minutes later, i got a ticket..TRANSNATIONAL-10pm....

owh god....its too late....i cannot wait anymore..

GOD, plis help me~

almost 4pm- i called my abg, ABSAR BURHAN n ask him for a help...ask him to buy me a flight ticket to KL..

4.20pm: we arrived terengganu airport..try to find the nearest flight ticket...then, the nearest flight was 9.20 pm, 24th July, Airasia.. i just bought the ticket.

Abah, i'll come to u...

i hve to come back to my room and packed some important stuff to bring it together with me...

6.45pm: i arrived to Tganu Airport...waiting untill the departure tyme..boring... i got some food for my dinner...pray for mgrib n isyak then check in...waiting at departure hall while watching Buletin TV3..

suddently a popular star, TOMOK come to me n sit next to me...but he cannot calm my heart down. for me he jz the ordinary person like me..sorry, Mr....

9.35pm: i departed from tganu airport...

10.22pm: i arrived LCCT, KL..walking for a long journey before arrived at ARRIVAL HALL.... waiting for my sis n my bro in law

11.00pm- they picked me up and i ask them to drive me straight to HBTAR (hospital)

12.00am- arrived at HBTAR..straightly go to see my abah at 8th level althought my journey was restricted by the guard at ground level...i dont care who you are..i jz want to see my abah...i bring my lil sis, lela and leaved the un-understanding guard~like i care!!!!

abah, i am coming to u!!!

25th July 2010

12.01 am- i arrived at 8th level of HBTAR..a ward for mens...i starightly go to HDU (hi-depency unit). i saw my bro in law outside the HDU. i ask him where is my dad n he told me that my dad was inside..a nurse was doing something to him...i ask in my heart 'what was hepen'??..i ask my bro in law- what was heppen to my dad? he said that he dont know....

im jz waiting for a few second before i was called by the nurse...

i ask her what heppen???

she told me...'g ajar ayah mengucap'....

owhhh wat hepen??? but without any hesitation, i wishper slowly to my dad's ear.........

astghfirullahhhhhhala'zimmmmmmmmmm.....

laaaaailaaaaaahaillallahhhhhhhhhhh~~

[repeat it a few tymes before a doctor and a nurse come to me.... ]

then de Dr. ask me- r u his daughter???

i replied- yes, i am...

Dr: ur dad's heart was stop beating since 10.45pm..n until now, 12am we was keep trying to help him wif max medicine and supporter but there is still no any reaction..it means ur dad was passed away..im sowie, miss..n now u can call ur relatives to setle a few required document before bring back ur dad...

me: okay..

then, i go out from de HDU without any filling..i donoe 'where am i'...then, i called my sis at home by the phone...i told her about our dad...her cry from the phone also make me cry n dats de point i start realized that my dad was gone...

YA ALLAHhhhhhhhhh~~

3am: my sis, my bro in law and i bring back my dad after all required document was filled and signed. silence and tears are all around...we start recite Yasin for him...

9am: we start bathing and 'kafan' him...i have natural filling without any sadness..but my tears was dropped and non stop dropping after i go to kiss my dad for de last tyme...

owhh GoD, he's my dad....!!!

my dad was GONE!!!!!!

10.30 am: we had burried our dad peacefully...again, i hve no any filling anymore..i dont know 'where am i'....then, when we sprout de 'love flower' and watering the grave..dats de tyme i start realized dat i'll nvr see my dad anymore after dis....

'abah, i start missing u..'

before leaved my dad's grave..i hold his 'batu nesan' n again, im cried...

it was so hard to leaved my dad alone....

'abah, anom blk dlu ek...'

now, dats de point dat we have to start live without abah...but, i nvr fill any emptiness because i always fill like he is always around and never leave me...however, my tears will start dropping when i realized dat my dad was gone and i never see him anymore after dis...even if i missed him damnly, i'll never see him anymore...

'abah, anom windu sgt kt abah...skg anom da xblh nk btkn air utk abah mcm slalu abah mtk...anom da xblh nk urut2kn abah, kipas2kn abah n bg abah ubat ble lelah abah dtg...

da xder owg utk anom mnjakn n da xde tmpt utk anom bmnja...

abah, anom doakn hnya yg tbaek utk abah...

anom akn sntsa doakn ksejahteraan abah d sna...'

'abah, anom bsyukur ble mlihat abah spt tsenyum ketika mghembuskn nafas yg trakhir..wajah abah spt sgt mnenangkan...e2lah pnca anom spt xpcyer abah da xder ble Dr. bgtaw anom brita kematian abah..pd anom, abah hnya tidur ketika anom sampai melawat abah kt hospital...sehingga saat anom mlihat abah telah siap dkafankn, brlah anom sedar yg abah anom btol2 da xder...

abah, anom akan ttp syngi abah smpai ble2...'

'ya Allah, Kau ampunknlah sgla dosa abahku sejak dia lahir hingga ke akhir hayatnya..jauhknla dia dr siksaan kubur n siksaan api neraka..jdknlah kubr e2 sbaek2 tmpt psemadian btnya hingga saat dia akn dbgkitkn d akhirat kelak...lapangkn n terangilah kubur e2 untuknya..

Ya Allah, aku memohon hnya yg tbaek untuknya..

sesungguhnya Kau maha mngetahui sgala apa yg tbaek untuk hamba2 Mu....

aminnnnnnnnnn~'

abah,

i still fillin dat u r all around and never leave me although only for a second..

u'll forever live in my heart...

there's nothing compared to u...

u r de best 4me, abah..

i luv you sooo much.. =)