tribute of my ABAH~

dis is special tribute for my dad....

dis is about those memory that i created wif him since i am a lil. child...

those memories will never fade from my mind even he'll never be around me anymore..

in any reason, he'll olwez closed to my heart..

My ABAH name is SAID…SAID bin Saliman. My only father in this world. I luv him very much. Dr kecik anom mmg lbih rpt dgn abah. Byk sgt kngn best anom dgn abah. Klo dlu ke sna sni anom mmg akn sntsa follow abah. Even abah gi kdai kopi ptg2 pown anom ikot gak. Abah carry anom naek basikal. Kuar kul 5 ptg then blk rmh kul 7. Blh mkn pisang goreng.. Blh minum air the guna piring mcm abah slalu ajar(bg air panas cpt sjuk)..blh jmpa kwn2 abah..

Kdg2 klo ader pasar mlm dpn kdai kopi tuh stiap hari ahad mesti abah ajak gi pasar. Bli mcm2. yg slalu abah bli utk ktowg ‘kerangka ayam’ & ‘apam balik’..1 habit abah tyme bli brg kt pasar.. abah ska bargain brg yg dyer nk bli xkre brapa lm pown yg psti he'll bargaining until he got de price level yg dyer nk. Abah mmg berkira bab duet. Abah mmg cukup mrh klo owg jual brg mhl sgt yg x sesuai dgn harganya. Siapla awk klo jmpa abah anom!!! Huahuahuaaaa…

1 thing bout abah yg anom ska sgt is ble abah ader mknn..xkre ckit ataw byk abah msty kongsi dgn anak2nya yg rmai2 nih. Biar pown ckit tp biar semua owg mrasa. Then ble dapat nasi ‘ambeng’ (nasi dari kenduri mengikut adapt Jawa) msty ktowg mkn rmai2 kt dulang.. ble mkn rmai2..ckit pown rs knyg jer. Itulah resipi abah & mak nk eratkn hubungan ktowg adik bradik. Dlm apepown keadaan msty bt sama2. klo gaduh pown msti kjp jer. Ble ader antara ktowg adik bradik yg gaduh..abah msti ckp..”yg besar tu mngalah la dgn adik2”..smpai skg ktowg ingt kate2 abah tuh.rindunyerla nk kmbali ke zaman kanak-kanak mcm tuh.

Emm klo mgikut prncgn, mak n abah ckp anom ni anak bongsu. Huhu..xtawla btol ke x. tp tba2 plak kluar 1 lg ‘bdk kcik’ lps anom. My only adik. So anom jd la 2nd bongsu. Itu pown after 4 years. Jauh kn jrg umur ktowg.

Mgkn sbb e2lah anom mmg sgt rpt dgn abah, seawal umur anom 2 ke 3 thn anom da slalu ikot abah gi kebun. Kebun kt blkg rmh. Anom slalu tlg abah sapu daun2 kt kbun tuh gne seludang pokok kelapa. then nnt abah tebas semak2 yg ader. lastly abah akn bakar smpah2 tuh. Ble da siap blhla ddk2 rht kt btg2 pokok yg condong smbil mnikmati angin ptg yg bertiup. (Huhu jiwangnyer aku..) klo naseb baek blhla mrasa ubi bakar. Ktowg akan cabut ubi dr pokok ubi yg berhampiran then campak dlm unggun api yg abah bt. So krg tyme rehat2 blhla mkn ubi bakar. Wahhhhhhhh sedapnyer…

Huh, 1 lg aktiviti klo ikot abah g kbun adlh kutip biji koko. Yla kdg2 tupai kt kbun tu pntg nmpk buah koko yg masak. Msti tupai2 tu nk tebuk n mkn koko tuh. So anom and kakak2 anomla yg kne kutip bji2 koko tu semua. Then ble dh kutip, ktowg bentang kanvas besar2 kt halaman rumah then jemur biji koko tuh smpai kering. .

Ble biji koko tu da kering ktowg anta kt kedai. So dptla duet.

Duet bli jajan (snack)..hihi. tgk, kcik2 lg ktowg da blaja cr2 nk proses koko. Huhu

Then 1 other interesting part of my life is tyme anom jd pmbntu abah utk jg ayam2 abah yg pnyela byk dlu. hihi. Mla2 ayam nie abah lps jer. Xder kurung2.(kre sys. Extensivela.hihi) cm ble ptg dlm kul 5 msty ayam2 tu akan dtg sndri bkumpul kt laman rumah utk mkn. Mcm taw2 jer. Then anom la yg akan tlg bg ayam2 tu mkn. Tyme bg mkn, anom ska kre jmlh ayam yg ader. Ble ader anak ayam br ker.. ayam mati ker..ayam or anak ayam hilang ker..sumer anom n abah akan taw. All in our fingertip. Huhu..

Then ble tyme nk raye or nk mkn ayam, mlm2 msti anom akan ikot abah or abang anom g kt tmpt ayam slalu tdo n tgkp ayam2 yg dkehendaki dgn mggunakan skil2 rhsia ktowg. (mn blh bgtaw..e2 kotwg pnye tradesecret.hihi). lps sembelih, kotwg akn cabot blu ayam tuh scra bjemaah. Anak2 abah kn rmai.hihi.

anom ingt lg ms umo anom 10thn abah ckp abah nk bt sgkar utk ayam kt bwh rmh gne jaring pagar. So, sbg pngikot abah yg patuh, anom follow jer abah bt sgkar tuh..anom tlg abah bt sgkar tuh smpai siap then ble da siap ktowg tgkap ayam2 tu tyme mlm then mskkn semua ayam2 tuh dlm sgkar bwh rmh ktowg..

Emm mcm2 kngn anom tyme bela ayam nie.hihi..so kje bg mkn n minum pd ayam2 nie pown kje anom gak..tp sgkr tu x lm sbb biawak byk sgt. Abah ckp, abah nk lpskn blk ayam2 tuh. Anom ikot jer..

Sbb da biasa jg ayam, kdg2 ble tgh2 mlm ader ayam2 yg bising x kre la kul bpe n kt mn pown ayam tuh, suara ayam bising tuh msty anom n abah blh detect. Wpn tgh mlm ktowg akan cr pnca npe ayam tu bising. Kdg2 sbb biawak. Kdg2 sbb anjing. Kdg2 sbb pncuri dtg pown ader.. cm ble pncuri tu dgr ktowg nk bkk pintu utk kuar dyer cpt2 la lari. Pepn ktowg still blh nmpk klibat pncuri tuh. Huh.. emm even abah da skt pown tyme tuh tp ble abah dgr ayam tu bsing abah akan bgn gak. then abah akan kjutkn anom so anomla yg akan g check pnca kjadian tuh..(lagak pnyelamat bumi laa..hihi)

part yg sdih dlm industri trnakan ayam ni..(poyo jer ayat..huhu) adlh ble anom da start skolah jauh dr rmh, abah start sakit ckit2..xder spe nk take a look pd ayam2 nie..las2 jmlh ayam2 ktowg slowly reduce..ader yg hilang..ader yg mati..smpai skg tgl sikitttttttt sgt ayam kt rmh tu berbanding tyme anom n abah jg dlu. tp xpe, ktowg redha jer.. :-P

Emm duk dgn abah ader gak bowinknyer dlu.. ble tyme kakak2 anom g skolah, abah mmg x blh tgk anom bt kje bkn2. msty abah pggl then sruh hafal sifir. Abah mmg MASTER bab matematik nie. So dlm kira2 nih jgn harap blh tpu abah. Bgla bpe byk nombor pown nk sruh abah darab ker ganda kn ker sume kjp jer abah blh bg jwpn. Dats why abah nk anak dyer pown jd mcm dyer. Dlu abah ader tulis sifir 0 sampai sifir tiga puluh bpe ntah anom da x ingt tp yg psti abah nk sruh anak2 nyer hafal. Abah tulis kt dlm 1 bku. Then yg slalu kne anom la sbb dlu anom xmsk tadika. So anom byk ms dgn abah kt rmh. Tula yg anom ckp part plg mmboringkan. Yla zmn bdk2 msty pk nk g maen jer. Huhu..tp pksaan abah tu la yg blh bt anom smpai ke UDM nie.

Dlu abah mmg nk anom jg doctor or saintis. Ble anom amik diploma ptanian dulu, anom pk mgkn anom xblh nk realisasikn impian abah tu tp etlis anom ikot jejak abah utk invole dlm bidang ptanian nih. Tp skg ble anom amik bioteknologi ptanian nmpknyer anom blh jd kn impian abah 1 realisasi. Anom blh jd saintis mcm yg abah harap2kn sgt then blh jd ahli ptanian sama mcm abah. ;-)

abah da smkin tua. Abah da xblh seaktif and sekuat dlu. abah da x blh jln byk2. semput abah teruk sgt.. da lm abah ada mslh semput. Semput abah teruk sgt.. anom risau and sedih ble tgk abah cmtu.

Anom ingt lg time anom cuti semester 1 ms diploma dlu. abah sakit teruk sgt. Nsb baek ms tu anom tgh cuti semester. Yla kkk2 anom yg laen kje. X blh nk tgk kn abah. Nk hrp pd mak pown x smpai hati sbb mak pown sakit..so anom jg mak n abah dlm 1 ms. Tp lbih pd jg abah la sbb sakit abah lbih truk. By that time, anom hrp sgt umo abah pjg. Stiap kali slt, anom nangis.anom hrp umo abah pjg, mtk abah cpt baek. Anom da x sggp tgk abah sakit cmtu. Sdih sgt (anom kn type owg yg mdh bsdih hati. Hihi)..

by that time, anom tdo kt lantai tpi katil abah. Anom lap2 bdn abah ble abah rs pns.ble mlm anom nk tdo pown tkot. Sbb risau klo abah nk g blik air or nk pape then anom xdgr sbb tdo. so nk elak anom xtdo..anom urut2 abah ker..or kms2 rmh..

1 lg tntg abah yg anom respect is abah mmg seowg yg kuat smngt. By that tyme even abah sakit truk mcm tuh, tp ble nk buang air msty abah nk bgn gak sndri g blik air. tp rmh anom rmh atas then blik air kt bwh. So anom amik inisiatif utk bg katil yg anom gne kt abah. Ltk katil kt bwh. Sng abah nk g blik air. Xpyh naek trun tgga. (So anom pown tdo kt dapurla. Kt tpi katil abah. Tdo atas lntai jer.huhu.).emm Wpn ktowg ade blikn abah pampers tp kjp ker abah gne.. abah x ska pkai pmpers n x ska nk ssh2kn anak2nyer utk salin2 kn dyer wpn ktowg x pnh bkira nk salinkn pmpers abah. So, anom ikot jer mn yg abah slesa. So anom papah abah stiap kali nk g bli air. anom bsyukur sbb anom diberi lbih kekuatan fizikal yg lazimnye seowg pmpn biasa xmampu lakukan. Mgkn itula kesan ‘bkwn’ dgn abah sjk kcik. Hihi..

Anom jg abah smpai abah sihat..

alhamdulillah sblm bkk semester ke2 anom ms tuh abah da sihat..:-)

jun 2010,

abah bkesempatan utk tunaikn umrah...alhamdulillah..mla2, mmg ktowg sume xstuju sbb sempot abah adlh sgt teruk...klo stakat nk bjalan2 dlm rmh pown da sempot, apa ntah lg klo nk bjalan jaoh2 utk g umrah...hmmm tp abah bkeras gak nk g umrah...sbg anak yg mmg da knl prangai abah, anom biarkn kdegilan abah e2...anom cb pjuk n yakinkn kkk2 n abg2 anom utk biarkn abah bt papepown yg dyer nk bt...anom hnya mampu bdoa smoga Allah mmberikn kekuatan kpdnya utk mneruskn niat murninya e2 n smoga Allah pmudahkn urusannya d sna...

akhirnya, abah g gak tunaikn umrah...sblm tuh, abah ader pesan kt anom...'klo ko sbuk kt tganu tuh...ko xpyhla balik anto abah..kkk2 ko rmi lg blh anto abah'....anom phm...wpn ayat abah cmtu, tp smemangnya abah mmg nk anom anto abah...anom kn ank ksygn abah.. =)

pg tuh, ms nk anto abah, br anom taw yg xrmai yg nk anto..cm sbuah kreta..anom nk ikot, tp da xmuat...so, anom pown take some pic wif my abah...tp ati anom ttp nk gak anto abah..anom pujuk kkk anom utk naek other car...dgn tekad n brani (wpn masing2 br dpt lesen P), ktowg g gak anto abah...kt KLIA pown aktowg bgmbo2 dgn abah...hikhikhik

bbrpa ari b4 tempoh umrah hbs, abah tlh dmasokkn ke hospital Mekah. lelah dyer tba2 dtg n sume ubat2nya da hilang..owh GOd!!! i ask my sis to called that particular hospital n told them all de medicines that used by abah...

slps blk dr mekah, keadaan abah sgt xstabil...smggu abah masok hospital klang lps smpai ke Malaysia...then, anom cpt2 blk rmh lps tempoh prektikal tamat..spjg tempoh cuti 2 hari, anom slalu jg abah sbb lelah abah mmg getting worse...asal gerak cket msti nk kne mkn ubat n urut2 abah...my poor dad...hmmmm

smpai ms anom plu blk ke tganu...tp ati anom berattttttt sgt nk tgl abah dlm keadaan g2..anom request him to stay kt rmh kkk..he refused because he want to die in his own house...i retain my tears from dropping...ku bkata dlm ati...npelah abah ku degil sgt....

memandangkn abah xnk stay kt rmhh kkk2 anom, anom asingkn siap2 mn ubat yg abah plu mkn tyme semput n mn yg abah plu mkn once/ day..anom ajar abah utk amek ubat mn y plu...abah blaja slow2 tp anom ttp xyakin utk tglkn abah keseorangan...

2weeks later, kkk anom bgtaw yg abah folow my advice....akhirnya abah tgl dgn kkk anom...tp abah xsceria slalu...abah byk snyp dr bborak2...i donoe why..kesian abah..xpela, etlis ader gak yg jg abah...ati anom kembali tenang dr asik wisawkn keadaan abah...

23 julai 2010- my dad returned home..dyer nk temankn mak yg tgh tlantar saket kt rmh...i noe my abah luv my emak so much...

24th julai 2010- d tgh2 mlm lelah abah dtg lg n kali ini dgn efek yg sgt dahsyat..sume ubat2 abah xdpt tlg redakan ape yg abah rs....about 6.20am, ambulance dtg utk bwk abah g hospital...

about 1pm- Dr ckp keadaan abah da getting worse...

about 10.45pm: jntg abah berhenti bdenyut...

about 12am (25th Julai)- Dr. mghentikn sume supporter mechines yg dpsg utk support idop abah n akhirnya abah mghembuskn nafasnya yg t'akhir d cc ku....

about 10.30 am- abah da slmt dkebumikn..alhamdulillah~~

kni sgala ukiran kngn bsma dgn abah telah tamat..hnya kngn2 lm yg boleh mngubati rinduku pd abah...

abah, anom doakan smoga Allah pmudahkn sgla urusan abah d sna..smoga Allah ampunkn sgala dosa2 abah..smoga abah dletakkn dklgn owg2 yg briman..anom akn terus mdoakn ksejahteraan abah dsna...smoga Allah ptemukn kte sX lg d akhirat kelak...

Ya Allah, ampunknlah sgala dosa abah ku sejak dr ia kecil hingga ke akhir hytnya...kasihanilah dia spt mn dia sntsa mngasihi dan mngasihaniku sejak aku kecil dahulu...jauhknlah ia dr seksaan kubur n seksaan api neraka...pmudahknlah segala urusannya d akhirat...

ya Allah, jdknlah kubur e2 sbaek2 tmpt psemadian btnya...lapangknlah, terangknlah n harumilah kubur e2 utk nya...beriknlah hnya yg tbaek utk nya...ya Allah sesungguhnya hnya kpdMu aku lyk memohon n hnya kpdMu ku lyk bserah..sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Pngasih lg maha Pnyayang....aminnnnnnnnnnnn~

Abah, anom syg abah. Wpn anom slalu duk jauh dr abah..xmcm anak2 abah yg ln tp anom mmg syg abah sgt2. wpn dlu abah pnh tkenal n ditakuti sluruh kmpg dsbbkn oleh ke’garang’an & ke’baran’an abah, tp anom sntiasa n slalu berbangga miliki abah sbg abah anom. Thanx abah for everything yg abah bg pd anom slama nie sama ada bnda tu blh dlihat dgn mata kasar or x..pepn, anom mmg sgt syg abah..

abah, I luv u so much..ummmmuahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

forever live of my dad in MY HEART...

24th July 2010

8.43 am: i noticed a missed call from my sis at my phone. she try to call me at 4.52am..only after 4 hours after the call i noticed the missed call..when i noticed the call, my heart beating faster than ever..i dont know why but i fill scare to return her call..worry if she tell me any bad news from home..

1.23 pm: i sent a msg to my sis and ask her why did she call me at mid nite...then she reply my msg and tell me dat my dad was sent to hospital. she's on her way to hospital n she promise me to call me back when she knew the exact condition of my dad..

2.30 pm: i called back my sis since she never return me any call.. she was in hospital. she tell me dat 'ABAH DAH KRITIKAL. KEADAAN ABAH DAH TERUK SANGAT. KO BALIK LA CEPAT'..

Then, i called my fwen, ASRUL ANWAR and ask him to buy me a ticket to KLANG. a few minutes later, i got a ticket..TRANSNATIONAL-10pm....

owh god....its too late....i cannot wait anymore..

GOD, plis help me~

almost 4pm- i called my abg, ABSAR BURHAN n ask him for a help...ask him to buy me a flight ticket to KL..

4.20pm: we arrived terengganu airport..try to find the nearest flight ticket...then, the nearest flight was 9.20 pm, 24th July, Airasia.. i just bought the ticket.

Abah, i'll come to u...

i hve to come back to my room and packed some important stuff to bring it together with me...

6.45pm: i arrived to Tganu Airport...waiting untill the departure tyme..boring... i got some food for my dinner...pray for mgrib n isyak then check in...waiting at departure hall while watching Buletin TV3..

suddently a popular star, TOMOK come to me n sit next to me...but he cannot calm my heart down. for me he jz the ordinary person like me..sorry, Mr....

9.35pm: i departed from tganu airport...

10.22pm: i arrived LCCT, KL..walking for a long journey before arrived at ARRIVAL HALL.... waiting for my sis n my bro in law

11.00pm- they picked me up and i ask them to drive me straight to HBTAR (hospital)

12.00am- arrived at HBTAR..straightly go to see my abah at 8th level althought my journey was restricted by the guard at ground level...i dont care who you are..i jz want to see my abah...i bring my lil sis, lela and leaved the un-understanding guard~like i care!!!!

abah, i am coming to u!!!

25th July 2010

12.01 am- i arrived at 8th level of HBTAR..a ward for mens...i starightly go to HDU (hi-depency unit). i saw my bro in law outside the HDU. i ask him where is my dad n he told me that my dad was inside..a nurse was doing something to him...i ask in my heart 'what was hepen'??..i ask my bro in law- what was heppen to my dad? he said that he dont know....

im jz waiting for a few second before i was called by the nurse...

i ask her what heppen???

she told me...'g ajar ayah mengucap'....

owhhh wat hepen??? but without any hesitation, i wishper slowly to my dad's ear.........

astghfirullahhhhhhala'zimmmmmmmmmm.....

laaaaailaaaaaahaillallahhhhhhhhhhh~~

[repeat it a few tymes before a doctor and a nurse come to me.... ]

then de Dr. ask me- r u his daughter???

i replied- yes, i am...

Dr: ur dad's heart was stop beating since 10.45pm..n until now, 12am we was keep trying to help him wif max medicine and supporter but there is still no any reaction..it means ur dad was passed away..im sowie, miss..n now u can call ur relatives to setle a few required document before bring back ur dad...

me: okay..

then, i go out from de HDU without any filling..i donoe 'where am i'...then, i called my sis at home by the phone...i told her about our dad...her cry from the phone also make me cry n dats de point i start realized that my dad was gone...

YA ALLAHhhhhhhhhh~~

3am: my sis, my bro in law and i bring back my dad after all required document was filled and signed. silence and tears are all around...we start recite Yasin for him...

9am: we start bathing and 'kafan' him...i have natural filling without any sadness..but my tears was dropped and non stop dropping after i go to kiss my dad for de last tyme...

owhh GoD, he's my dad....!!!

my dad was GONE!!!!!!

10.30 am: we had burried our dad peacefully...again, i hve no any filling anymore..i dont know 'where am i'....then, when we sprout de 'love flower' and watering the grave..dats de tyme i start realized dat i'll nvr see my dad anymore after dis....

'abah, i start missing u..'

before leaved my dad's grave..i hold his 'batu nesan' n again, im cried...

it was so hard to leaved my dad alone....

'abah, anom blk dlu ek...'

now, dats de point dat we have to start live without abah...but, i nvr fill any emptiness because i always fill like he is always around and never leave me...however, my tears will start dropping when i realized dat my dad was gone and i never see him anymore after dis...even if i missed him damnly, i'll never see him anymore...

'abah, anom windu sgt kt abah...skg anom da xblh nk btkn air utk abah mcm slalu abah mtk...anom da xblh nk urut2kn abah, kipas2kn abah n bg abah ubat ble lelah abah dtg...

da xder owg utk anom mnjakn n da xde tmpt utk anom bmnja...

abah, anom doakn hnya yg tbaek utk abah...

anom akn sntsa doakn ksejahteraan abah d sna...'

'abah, anom bsyukur ble mlihat abah spt tsenyum ketika mghembuskn nafas yg trakhir..wajah abah spt sgt mnenangkan...e2lah pnca anom spt xpcyer abah da xder ble Dr. bgtaw anom brita kematian abah..pd anom, abah hnya tidur ketika anom sampai melawat abah kt hospital...sehingga saat anom mlihat abah telah siap dkafankn, brlah anom sedar yg abah anom btol2 da xder...

abah, anom akan ttp syngi abah smpai ble2...'

'ya Allah, Kau ampunknlah sgla dosa abahku sejak dia lahir hingga ke akhir hayatnya..jauhknla dia dr siksaan kubur n siksaan api neraka..jdknlah kubr e2 sbaek2 tmpt psemadian btnya hingga saat dia akn dbgkitkn d akhirat kelak...lapangkn n terangilah kubur e2 untuknya..

Ya Allah, aku memohon hnya yg tbaek untuknya..

sesungguhnya Kau maha mngetahui sgala apa yg tbaek untuk hamba2 Mu....

aminnnnnnnnnn~'

abah,

i still fillin dat u r all around and never leave me although only for a second..

u'll forever live in my heart...

there's nothing compared to u...

u r de best 4me, abah..

i luv you sooo much.. =)